I was born in the arms of imaginary friends.
Free to roam, made a home, out of everywhere I've been.
Then you came crashing in, like the realest thing.
Trying my best to understand, all that your love can bring.
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Ah, once again, it is night fall. Had probably one of the longest day in my life so far, which started with waking up, at 3am in the morning for a free spin with the lorry, followed by my actual driving lesson, at 8.30am, followed by Swissotel and then Fairmont, and then to Far East, to collect what was meant to be worn for the rest of my life. Till I could afford a Tiffany & Co. Ring. Went on to school, and back all the way to Hougang to meet my insurance agent. And finally back home on the couch at 12am, catching 1 movie, before I got back on my hot seat on my computer desk. Thank goodness, I gave night shift a skip today, by asking the contractor to start work tomorrow.
Even a meeting with my insurance agent, could trigger such powerful and painful memories.
Agent : So, it's been 2 weeks since we last met! (whips out time line book), anything changed so far? You still want to get a car, by end of the year, allow your dad to retire by 20, get your girlfriend a huge diamond ring on her 21st birthday, and get married by 26? Any major changes that we can add into the time line?
Me : Yeah, everything, that has to do with my girlfriend, and yeah, that includes the car, maybe I'll just drive the lorry. We'll take it all out.
Agent : OMG, what happened? It's just been 2 weeks, is there no way out of this one?
Me : Not this time, not anymore.
Agent : Okaye, but I'll take it as you still want to get married at 26?
Me : Yeah, married to my job, most probably, no humans for me for now. =D
Simple conversation, that caused so much turmoil in my stomach, I wonder if I was suddenly hungry, or was I gonna puke, I wasn't exactly too sure myself. But whatever it was, my stomach was feeling all topsy turvy and all kinda thing. Not butterflies, more like bees stinging everywhere.
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Half of my heart's got a grip on the situation.
Half of my heart takes time.
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you.
That I can't keep loving you, oh, with half of my heart.
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Half of my heart, has told me that it is finally over, telling me that all this time of loving, has finally come to a dreadful end. While half of my heart, tells me to keep hanging on, to stay above water on the sinking ship.
Half of my heart, has told me that, the one girl I've sworn to protect, is no longer a responsibility of mine. While half of my heart tells me, that promise, should burn on always, even if I was to be miles away.
Half of my heart, has told me that, it's time to put down everything I've worked for, while half of my heart has told me that, I should keep on building, that holy grail that only belongs to her.
Half of my heart, has told me to look for somebody new, while half of my heart, tells me that, there isn't gonna be anyone new.
Half of my heart, has told me to speak to her, while half of my heart, tells me that I shouldn't make things any harder for her.
Half of my heart, feels so far apart from her, while half of my heart, tells me she's just right next to me every night still.
Well, that's just half of my heart.
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Half of my heart's got a real good imagination,
Half of my heart's got you,
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you,
That half of my heart won't do.
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I hope this separation, will be more good then harm to you. I hope you'll do better without me protecting you. I hope you won't get hurt ever again, I hope by staying away, to you, would be protecting you from getting hurt. Again.
And I do hope, you'd find someone, that can love you the way you want, that can be able to protect you the way you want them to, to give, and to provide you with that you need, to make you feel what real love is like, because I've never been able to show you. And I'll never be given the chance again.
Ironic how it's like that wasabi, that you swore never to eat, but ended up eating it better then I do, like how you'd never stand spiciness, and still drink 3/4 bowl of that volcano ramen soup. I realized, that things change, as time goes by, you want your own life, unprotected. You wanted to run into walls, and feel hurt. But am I wrong? All I wanted to do, was to never see you hurt.
Another segment for the niche amount of guys tuning in to my blog.
She loves pork chops, well done, nicely cooked, but remember to trim off the fats for her, and remember to tell her where the bone of the pork chop is at, she'd never have a proper time eating pork chops without knowing where the bone is. And those pork chops goes best, with potato salad, and corn, and yes the corn has to be on a cob.
Good Night World!
I've seen too much of you today as well.
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Oh half of my heart.
Half of my heart.
Just half of my heart.
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I'll hold onto this ring, till the other half of my heart tells me I should take it off.
Soon, soon it will be. Pretty soon. =)
Yes Marcus LYE, I've read your smses! Sorry I didn't reply them, I was too busy giving you a tribute, on my last post. D=
Marcus NG, sorry to have you tolerate all of my stupid nonsense today, you know I was kidding right? xD
2:02 AM