Let's make this clear, really really clear.

You chose to make things this way, no matter how many times i told you not to ever do it.
I don't ever choose, or have a choice, how things between us ever go.
You always made the decisions on your own.
And I, usually just pay the price, of everything.

Anger I feel right now, i think it's only judgmental for me to feel that way.

Since that day, i looked into your eyes, and saw something beyond myself.
I had started changing, into a mould, that i thought only you deemed fit.

You made the mould, and i just took shape of whatever you had shaped it to.
Whatever you wanted, I had given to you.
Whatever you could not have, i worked for it.

And you think it's fair, for you to make a 1 man decision yet again?

Don't we all make mistakes?
Haven't you made your fair share?
Just to be forgiven?
But me?
I've made my share of mistakes, just for you to condemn me right down to hell.
I made my fair share of mistakes, just for you to FINALLY CATCH ME?

I've never landed into the state you are in right now.
Just because I trusted you.
Just because I remained silent, on things that I am unhappy about.
Because, nothing wrong that you did to me.
Can ever be compared, to the amount of rights, we could have done together.

But to you it is different, way different.

YMCA, and volunteering, used to be such a happy thing for me.
Use to be something, that I could do, to enrich myself and to help others.
But now, when I think about YMCA, and volunteering.
I think about the times we fought because of it.
I just have such a bad mindset about it.
I don't have any good memories left of YMCA and volunteering.

You said I don't support you in what you do.
Think again, what have i not ever supported you, in whatever you did.

When you were looking for a job, did i find you a job?
When you were out of job, and your school didn't have a slot, did i find you a school?
When you quarreled with your friends, whose shoulder did you first turn to, to cry on?

There are so many more, i won't even bother listing them down.
In case it just makes you think I'm running you down again, with 0 intentions.

I'm just giving myself a fair judgment on how, this has been.
And how you have turned this thing out to be.
And if after all this, 3 years, and the things I did for you, the changes i made BECAUSE of you.

Wouldn't make you realize how much I love you.
I'm done.

How do you think, at 19, we could feast on a 60dollar meal.
Think of which high tea we want to go.
Which buffet we want to have?

Hey babe, I'll tell you.
It's because.
I Slogged my fucking heart out, so did my lungs, so did my liver.
Just for us to enjoy what we did the past 3 years.

Just for us to not worry,
About where to eat, what budget we have, what we are restricted to buy or purchase.

I truly needs someone who appreciate me.
Someone who truly appreciates what I do for her.
And sadly, really really, sadly.

Why can't the girl just be you.

Jones.

I don't know what are the chances of you reading this.
I don't even know if you bother with my blog anymore.

Lol,

But yeah, i'm moving on.
3 years, is just way too long to hang on.
Especially when you give me nothing to hold on to at all.

Even 3 weeks, i would say it's just way to difficult.

I guess this is the end.
And lets make it clean this time.

Goodbye love. ;)

I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you would spend the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat.
And i wish that i was the last thing on your mind before you sleep.

I wanna make you smile,
whenever you're sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
Oh, all i wanna do, is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches,
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh, it could be so nice, growin' old with you.

I'll miss you, kiss you,
Give you my coat when you are cold,
need you, feed you.
I'll even let you hold the remote control.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink,
put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you...

~~~

All this now, holds only to a distant wager.
I'll work to pay off my debts.
Till i owe nothing again, i will be free.

And what could've been a story would have had never end.

Ended right infront of my eyes.

You have been punished my man,
She has been taken away.
By your own actions on impulse.

Oh god, bless me with another day with her.

And it shall be repaid with my life.

YiLiang
19

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