So many phases had passed me by.
Never was there a phase.
Which i would want to last forever.
Because I've learnt that.
Nothing last forever.
No one stays forever.
Everything and everyone comes and goes.
They will leave someday.
Just indefinitely when.
Why wait for the day they leave, i thought.
I knew it would hurt so bad.
But i just waited, till they day they left.
And then look back and think.
"Why hadn't i left first"
"Why was i there, for them anyway?"
"What was there that i could take away?"
And then i look ahead.
And i still see myself doing it over and over again.
Why is this.
Why is this i was brought up this way.
Into a family that taught me nothing.
But to put people ahead of me.
And to not stop working until i'm physically unable to do so.
I'm a boy.
I'm 18years of age.
I should be enjoying my teenage years.
Thinking no further then the weekend at the club.
But what have i done to myself.
What have i gotten myself into.
It's a phase where people are leaving now.
My love ones.
My love one.
The people who's left standing by me.
Doesn't see what i see.
Doesn't feel what i feel.
Nothing's been easy for anyone.
Why does it have to be so much harder for me.
Privileges taken away from me.
So much, taken away from me, for 1 cause.
No, i'm not complaining.
I just hope at the end of the day.
Justice will come, and tell me if what i've been though.
Would be worth it.
I am only human.
I ain't no super human.
I have feelings too.
I also want my fair share.
Why doesn't anyone understand.
Oh lord, drag me out of this moment of darkness.
For I have fallen onto bended knee.
Show me the light at the end of the tunnel.
For I have turned blind by ignorance.
Forsake me for the good and bad that i have done.
For I have to learn what's only good for myself.
Forgive me, for putting up my brave front.
For my heart has been decimated over and over again.
Enlighten me.
For i have been stupid and foolish,
To assume what i thought was best for someone.
Wasn't afterall.
Lastly, show me.
For, i'm lost.
I want to come home.
Be it alone or with company.
Show me the way home.
~Cheers.
4:39 AM